Often we all feel distract and drawn to both the past and the future. This is not being present.
It is hard to be present all the time yet also it is easy.
Why this yin and yang?
Honestly I do not know.
Today meditation (holosync) was a struggle from start to end, rising thoughts of dissatisfaction and the complete mess that seemingly my life is in came to a fore: debt crises; three children to care for without another parent of theirs on the planet to bounce ideas off; moment by moment not getting peace yet having a mindful awareness that peace is in the moment yet being unable to experience because of my mind.
Drank coffee to alter my perspective, a dangerous thing to do considering a probable genetic predilection for alcohol and my "past" experiences with both drugs and alcohol. Suffice to say the coffee altered my mindset but not in any positive way for my being.
Now feeling physically sick and wholly sorry for my lot I write this and wonder what on earth needs to happen to be more present.
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