Day Four

Is it a daily challenge this whole peace in the moment and at every moment thing??

That's what my mind makes of balance, equanimity and impermanence. The deep peace that comes from meditation and being in the moment and attaining that peace predominantly most of the time in one's life.

I didn't manage to get up at 6am or 6 15am and do an hour of silent or holosync based sitting. I went to Morning Spirit (MS) at 9 15am and that was peaceful and connected then at about mid-day I tried a one hour half-lotus sitting with Holosync. 5mins into the meditation a cat decided to sit on my lap. As I find half-lotus quite challenging the additional weight of the cat did nothing to help moderate the gross sensations I felt in my legs. It's always been a bit strange ever since not even managing to sit for an hour straight during my First Vipassana that now I am still struggling with the hour of stillness.

At 30mins I had to alter my leg position, thereby both getting rid of the cat and relieving the gross sensations simultaneously. What then happened during the second half of the meditation was just extreme annoyance and fidgeting, almost the opposite of peace. I think sometimes the effects of the Holosync meditatuive sounds can create quite a lot of emotional turmoil for a person. In this case me. In any case I endured (that's how it felt) an hour; but it was incredibly hard and incredibly frsutrating and hardly at all equanimous. What needs to be taken from this experience I believe is no frustration, the frustration I felt needs to be left in the past where it rightfully belongs.

Thankfully i'm not feeling any iller than yesterday which is a good thing.

Peace be with you all, always