Later Day Ten

I awoke at about 4 15am and I wonder if it might be related to me applying to do another 10 day Vipassana retreat in October. I really hope not as I could do without getting up at 4 15am as a habit!!

Meditation was fine for an hour: although the wonder of is there any point to meditating if all that happens is what happens in the moment and dropping the veil of thought (not that thought ever leaves, it just becomes seen for what it is arising thoughts with no attachment) and personification of self then just enables one to see life as it arises and unfolds, oneness, creation, being, god; call it what you will.

"I" wonder if the intimacy felt with god during meditation is not attributable at all to the meditation or the stillness; but rather just an awareness of the non-existence of my own self.

Once the mask falls away everything is revealed with a radiance and the darkest of days appears light. 
For now: Life, although in many ways pretty hard for "me", can just be seen to be what it is. And what it is is beautiful, radiant and lovely. I will pass one day and life will go on, I suspect in me passing that only my body will leave and I will simply fall back into the beautiful radiant abundance of being or god. Death then, doesn't seem anything to fear.